Wednesday April 16th

Dear Family,

This is a time share email, you will not be receiving a free gift for reading this, so buyer beware. I think the ones who will enjoy this most are Derrald and Davin. If anyone else wants to read it, do so at your own risk.

Timeshare presentations have been around since the beginning, I am certain Satan himself developed this marketing ploy. It has manifest itself in the past 25 years and has been perfected with time. Remember Kay’s favorite past times are hunting, fishing and beating the system. Welcome to Kay’s world.

We have 4 timeshares bought 5-22 years ago on the second hand market. He paid $700-1500 each. They have low maintenance fees so they have been good to us. We have our kids use them. We have been to about 10 presentations before our trip. You should NEVER, NEVER buy. If you do want one, talk to Kay to find out how to get one.

The reason people go to timeshare presentations are the free gifts for listening to their 90 minute (who are they kidding- 4 hours) presentations. We have received store credits, ski passes but never have we been so tempted. Puerto Vallarta is a time share Mecca. Construction is everywhere. Because of my restrictions on getting in water, what else was there to do? Timeshares.

Before I go on I should explain how this works. The guy on the street gets anywhere from $350-$1000 to bring in a married couple from the US or Canada who is staying at a 4 or 5 star resort, has 2 major credit cards and makes over $40,000/year. He can split as much as necessary with the couple to convince them to go. The salesman is paid as well and gets a bonus if the couple buys. If there is no sale everyone makes money except the developer who forks out advertising dollars to make the system work. We are told over half the presentations end in sales (poor suckers) and the developer is making huge bucks. A two bedroom unit is making the developer at least a million dollars.

We arrived at our hotel and were offered a free breakfast buffet, city tour, 10% off our bill and $100 Room credit to attend their presentation. We agreed. Meanwhile we took a walk and were offered $200 to see another property so we were able to use that to our benefit and negotiated with our resort for $200 room credit to keep with the competition. We went to our resort’s presentation, had breakfast and listened. Kay tells them they don’t take into consideration the use of his $200,000 (can you believe it??) and timeshare vacations don’t make sense anymore. They have become too expensive and there is no resale value. That took us 4 hours but we did enjoy most of our meals at the hotel on our room credit. The last hour of our trip I had 50 dollars to spend and had a hard time finding something (anything) I wanted at the boutique.

1) We went to Walmart shopping and were offered $300 to go to a presentation, we accepted then went back and re-negotiated #2 from $200 to $250. We went to #2, had their all- you –can- eat- breakfast, stayed the agreed time and when we were checking out ,our check out guy asked if we would go to another one right then for $300 plus lunch. That’s $550 in one morning, we said OK.

2) We took a cab to #3 and listened to their time share, ate lunch on them and didn’t buy. We got a little too comfortable and forgot to negotiate our cab ride home.

3) The next morning our Walmart guy picked us up and we attended our FINAL (I SAID NO MORE) timeshare presentation, ate our free breakfast, listened to their presentation and went back to our hotel. Everyone’s presentation is supposed to be “different” from all the rest. NOT.

Remember this is a sport for Kay, He graduated in Finance at BYU and it doesn’t matter how much money he has, he is game for a game.

Wednesday, after our bull fight we took the bus home and saw our #2 timeshare guy and visited with him, giving him the low down on what timeshare we liked and didn’t like. He asked us if we wanted to go to another one and I said NOOOOOO!!!!! He said this one is $400. Well…… OK.

4) Who can resist another free breakfast and $400? It was my decision. Doing this timeshare would make our trip almost free… Kay doesn’t get to do this sport too often, I may even give him a medal in this sport, he is so good. We were picked up at our hotel at 8AM (a little earlier than others) and driven to a hole in the ground. This timeshare was pre-construction. They had an outdoor reception area where we sat and waited to show them our id and get prequalified etc.

Someone came and filled out a 2 page pre-qualification on us and made us wait. We recognized a family from our city tour and pulled our chairs up to their table and visited with them. I recognized the NJ accent (Nutley). We then were separated (this was before breakfast) and told by a representative of the developer we didn’t make enough money to qualify. They hadn’t asked us how much we made but apparently made a judgment call based on the information he had…we own cheap timeshares, take budget vacations and our appearance... This was the BEL-AIRE… I wear a timex, not rolex and was carrying an Olympic volunteer purse. Kay had a scruffy beard, shorts, tee shirt and a hole in his sock. The developer’s representative sized us up as a couple who couldn’t afford their lifestyle (these were going to be the nicest in the city) and decided to get rid of us and the other 2 couples in holding before he had to pay the agreed $400 or give us our breakfast.

With flashy sunglasses, expensive clothes and a “you’re not good enough for us” attitude he told us how much the average buyer in his development is worth and makes. Kay told him we were over both of those but he didn’t believe us. Kay told them they didn’t have to give us the presentation if they didn’t want to, we would be happy to take our gift and leave. The head of sales who was angry with the developers staff for sending us (and his bounty) away, said the developer wouldn’t give us the gift because we hadn’t stayed the required 90 minutes so we, and our new friends with the NJ accent, decided to wait out the required 90 minutes to collect our gifts. After ten minutes or so the head of sales apologized and said he would give us $100 out of his own pocket and a cab ride home. I agreed, Kay reluctantly agreed. On the way home Kay remembered he had brought his taxes and had his 2006 tax return and bank statement which more than qualified us. I told him “they insulted us.”

Kay and I talked about this and he wanted to bring in his tax return to show them. I wanted to drop it. A few minutes later Kay asked me what that word was again. Insulted. Later he asked again what that word was. INSULTED. He said it several times. We realized he had never really been insulted. People insult him all the time but he thinks of insults as compliments. He thinks being told he doesn’t look like he has money is a complement and not an insult. He likes being cheap.

The following day we picked up our rental car right by the BEL-AIRE. Kay took his bank statement in and asked to see a manager. When the head of sales came over, Kay remembered to use his new word (we practiced just before) and told them he was INSULTED. The head of sales smiled and was happy to see Kay. He took the bank statement back to the developer representative who INSULTED us and came back with the remaining $300 in cash. He thanked Kay because now he could get his pay for bringing in qualified prospects. Win win.

4 ½ sales presentations +$1450 +4 free meals +Tours of the finest resorts in Puerto Vallerta +free city tour+New friends + beating the system + new vocabulary word= priceless Love, Janae and Kay

Monday April 7th

Today is Sunday, We are in Puerta Vallerta on Spring Break partying like a couple of 90 year old's. We say 90 year olds because the older you get the more you talk about your health and we have been talking about our health a lot. An older couple at the airport overheard me saying I was staying at the Grand Mayan and told their shuttle driver we were with them. They watched me walk really slow through the airport and felt sorry for us. Kay and I both had surgery within a week of coming here. We can't get in the pool or hot tub or walk very much. I had to cancel my zipline reservation. We may get out in a Kayak later.

It was General Conference. We bit the bullet and decided we needed to sign up for internet at the internet Cafe . They were suppose to open at 7:15 but nobody showed up for 2 hours. When a manager finally showed I asked about a day rate and was told it was either $8/hour or $40/ week. I decided on a week and he gave me a pass without charging my room. When the lazy employee finally arrived, I wanted to tell him to charge our room but I can't convince Kay it's not a tender mercy.

We don't get a signal in our room so we listened to conference in the Internet Cafe with our headsets on. We were able to sit on a couch and get 3 sessions, and one, for some reason could only come in Sign language or radio. We will listen to it tomorrow for family night.

I had to quickly send my yesterday's letter without reading it or signing it because my battery was going. Sorry about the spelling etc. I was sitting on a statue base on an island between two streets by Walmart (for those of you who have been to Puerto Vallerta- Walmart is THE landmark of the city.) Kay had to carry most of the groceries home and they were heavy, about 60 lbs. Thanks to a Costco green bag he could do that. I carried lots of breads..... yummmmm.

We are expecting Caleb's mission call while we are away. He said he could put it on Utube for us. I guess Debbilyn is at my house enjoying Utah and General Conference with her family and five Young Men from their ward. That's all for now. Love Janae and Kay

Sunday March 23

Dear Family,

we are doubling our grandchildren by the end of the year. Our oldest daughter in Omaha, Rachael (and Seth Chappell) is expecting baby #4 in September and our next daughter Frances (and Marc Inman) is expecting baby #1 and #2 in October. Frances is a sonographer (gives people sonograms) so when she found out she was pregnant she had her tec friend give her a sonogram and found out there were two babies. Usually you don't know until you go to the Doctor at 12 weeks and are measured large, then they send you to receive a sonogram and you know you are expecting twins.

Caleb has been home from college for spring break. He did work for me every day (putting bookshelves together, yard work etc.) and in his spare time he and his cousin, Landon, made a silly short movie they will put on the Internet. He finished his papers for his mission and now has two more interviews before they are submitted officially. For his birthday, I made him an ice-cream cake (surprised?) and he had 6 friends over for hamburgers cooked on the outside grill. We gave him all seven seasons to "Star-Trek the Next Generation". Derrald already spoke to babysit them while Caleb is on his mission.

Easter:

Happy Easter, this year it came too quickly. Last year we watched a wonderful DVD (322 minutes) on the Life of Christ, "Jesus of Nazareth" by Franko Zeffirelli. We started a month before Easter and watched a segment every day. This year, we did... Nothing.

Jamon invited us to his in-law's Easter egg hunt. We have always had Easter Egg hunts but with Kay gone and just Janell, we went to theirs. Rachel is the 11Th of 14 children. It was a happy kaos. They had 5 dozen eggs hidden outside which all had to be accounted for because the last time they weren't accounted for, they found one (by stepping on it) in October and it stunk up the neighborhood. I visited with Rachel's 91 year old cute grandma and had a great time. Guess what was served for breakfast? Eggs.

For our past Easter Egg Hunts, we allowed anyone that wants to hunt a chance. The married kids even want to hunt. Jamon visited one year and called ours a "communist hunt", everyone hunts and we trade until everyone has one of each item/candy. The hard boiled eggs have codes on them that represent money. It makes the hard boiled decorated ones more desirable. You get so many and if you have too many, you give to others, but, you don't know the money value until they are divided up. Janell unfortunately gave her 20 dollar egg (she remembers it as 50 dollars) to Derrald and we will never hear the end of that hunt.

I am looking forward to our church Easter Program today. Love, Janae

Monday March 10th

For our youth fundraiser each youth needed to offer a service to be auctioned off in a silent auction. A silent auction is a table of things/services with a paper attached. Each bidder is given a number to bid with, they write their bids with their number. There may be a paper for raking leaves for 2 hours, mow a lawn, rolls delivered to your home 4 weeks in a row etc. I wanted the raking so I put my number down 102, and my bid price. If someone wanted that for more money they put their number down to up the bid. By the end of the night most papers have several bids on, at a certain time they close the bids and announce the winners. After you win something you contact the service person and arrange a time for them to do the service.

Janell needed to offer a service but doesn't like babysitting. I talked her into making whole wheat bread and bringing it there that evening. It was the only service not on a piece of paper.

She made bread for the first time by herself. I was in the room supervising. She made 3 loaves of bread. We put pretty cloth bows on the loaves and added small jams to the packages. The bread sold for $30,$20 and $20. The services averaged 20 dollars and hers fetched $70! We were excited... and she is done!!!! love Janae

Sunday March 9th

The word is out, Janell plays the flute. She played for a youth fundraiser dinner on Friday with her friend at the piano (did a great job) and just played on Sunday during sacrament meeting with the ward choir (I am a member). After the dinner she said she was so nervous her lips were shaking. Janell was wondering if I noticed. I did not. The following day was her debut at Sacrament Meeting with the ward choir. To prepare , she went to the pianist's home to practice and came three times to practice with the choir, arriving early to run through it with the pianist before the choir arrived. She had it down. Sometimes nerves get the best of you though...

She was really nervous, I prayed a silent prayer that her lips wouldn't shake. During the song guess whose lips started shaking? Mine. It was so weird, I was singing in the choir with shaking lips. I was anxious to ask how her lips fares. I said "I'll bet your lips didn't shake, because mine did!" I was right. Her knees still shook though (normal). Love, Janae

Wednesday march 5th

Dear Family,

I guess no one really wants to hear the gorey details but I have been sick the past 3 days, withering away on my couch, watching my TIVO with Oprah- I had 12 episodes to catch up on. Just me and Oprah and some honey water for rehydration.

Kay is back in Omaha and took his Nephew Ben Lusk. Ben returned home from Moscow Russia mission for the LDS church less than 2 weeks ago. What a cute guy he is. Kay all the sudden has seen the missionaries in Omaha and we called the mission office to offer a free apartment to the missionaries. They will come over on Friday to look, and need an apartment in the area so that is pretty exciting. Kay has offered many times but his apartments were in bad areas or they all ready had free housing so we hope they will take us up on this. We just happen to get blessings when we help the missionaries.

Kay asked me to call the Institute to see if Ben could take a religion class. They have lots of social events for young adults. I was talking to the director and mentioned my daughter lived there, he asked who she was. I said she had only been there less than 4 years so he probably wouldn't know her. He pressed me and he didn't know her. He asked if her husband was Seth, "everyone knows Seth." "The Real Estate Mogul of Omaha." The director knew what kind of truck Seth drove and what he was doing but admitted he had only met him once. Small world.

Caleb has called me to ask questions as he is putting his papers in soon for his mission. We are pretty excited about this great experience for him. He got to write where his parents and grandparents served, My parents made him look very global.

We signed up for a Christmas cruise- 17 day transatlantic from Genoa Italy to Florida on MSC Dec 16-Jan 2. This will be Jana's make up cruise (the niece who missed her flight because of a "series of unfortunate events".) It doesn't have kids programs but they have a hang out place for teens, Janell will be 17 and Jana 16. We ended up booking 1 room with a balcony when they told us kids under 17 were free instead of two inside rooms, saving us money (our favorite thing to do). This is a European cruise, a new experience for us. Love, Janae